Saturday, January 27, 2007

Being Far Away

Today I'm wondering why it is I moved so far away. I'm having a twinge of sadness as I realize that I've started this new life, one that I really love, so totally separate from my family. And my girls are only phone calls away, but we are no longer doing life together. At times I find myself wondering at friends who were born and raised here in Pennsylvania, who went to college locally, and now raise their families within an hour or so of where they grew up. "Don't they long for adventure? Something...ANYTHING different?!" I ask. But today I find myself envious of those very same people. Those have all of their brothers and sisters and childhood friends within an hour's drive. Who can return to the places that carry memories of life's milestones when they are having a nostalgic moment. I know that is not me. I would be going crazy by now if I hadn't left El Dorado Co. (and I'd likely be married with a kid or two, as that seems to be the trend...though not necessarily in that order). I know I'm where God wants me for now. But I wonder how permanent this change is. I miss my wide open spaces. And yet right now, I can't imagine leaving this place.

6 comments:

mommajanjan said...

Awww, we miss you too, but your daddy will be there next week, that will help!

Kallie said...

It's not so much that I miss seeing you guys. I was just home a couple weeks ago...it's hard to describe. I just have this sadness over the fact that I may end up having a life so far away from you all...the knowing that there will be a lot of missing in the future. But it will be nice to have Dad visit of course:)

Kallie said...

That sounded callous. I didn't mean it to be, I'm just trying to clarify (and probably not doing a very good job). Oh well.

mommajanjan said...

Naw, I know exactly what you mean, I talk to you all the time and just saw you. But I am carrying a lot of sadness that both my daughters have chosen to live far away, and trying not to think that all my grandkids will know me as a holiday grandma, not an everyday grandma as I had hoped. You didn't hurt my feelings, I know you love me!

beckalippy said...

I was looking at a map today adn saw that Seattle, Portland, and Vancouver are all fairly close (or at least from South America it looks that way!) and I got really sad that i don't live up there. I feel you. It was really nicee to show my mom and Nigel my life here, but sad that they will never really actually be apart of it. I feel you babe, ,but at teh same time, if we were much closer to our families and where we grew up, we would probably be screaming out of suffocation... yeah, ,so the grass is always greener on the other side.
love u dearly,

Jon and Jamie said...

Just think of all the sweet adventures weve been on being on opposite coasts! ok, actually i think its good to remember and get all nostalgic, if we dont know where we come from... we won't remember why we are who we are. Some day we'll be close again, and maybe even be able to save some money to fly and visit. Especially you girl- being a nurse and all. I still think that some time we'll be in driving distance and our kids will be great friends. As I've said before.... I'm still voting for Portland... come on... you know you love it.

Hey I was just listenin' to Derek Webb and I love his songs! Its so true how our whole country seems to want to move out of Jesus' neighborhood- thanks for sharing your tunes, they're right on.

love and miss you
Jamie