Happy Halloween!!

So the past couple years I admittedly haven't been super stoked about dressing up for Halloween. But try as I might to NOT do it, I just can't! It feels so incredibly unspirited of me and so against my very nature not to put on a costume when I'm told they are optional. I always end up enjoying the dressing up, but it's finding motivation to get creative that is the struggle. If I'm not inspired, it just seems blah. So I ran through the last minute options in my head, trying to figure out what I could do without buying anything. My brother suggested being cereal or snack crackers, but even that required a grocery store trip. While I was pulling my clothes out of the dryer this morning, I thought, "Maybe I'll be laundry?" I ended up going with "Static Cling." It was great. I got to wear my sweats (plus the socks, underwear, and dryer sheets I pinned all over them), my hair was SUPPOSED to be messy, it was free, and nobody else showed up as the same thing. Stay tuned for tomorrow night when I'll be dressed up as "Procrastinator Girl" frantically studying pharmacology. Oh well :)

Congratulations Leigh and Matt!

This quick blog is dedicated to the delightful Leigh Lingnofski. My lovely roommate Leigh got engaged this past weekend! In reality we haven't been roommates for over a year and a half now, but once you've earned the title, you never lose it. Congratulations Leigh and Matt! May God bless you bunches!!!

Mechanics

My car broke down this past Saturday. It was one of those mornings that seemed bad to begin with then just got worse. I was supposed to be at work at 6:30, but thanks to my alarm clock setting incompetence and the fact that I was going on a total of about 10 hours of sleep for the previous three days I didn't wake up until 7:15. It always a horrible thing to be an hour and a half late for work, but infinitely worse when I'm still in the training orientation period. I fought back the tears and tried to calm my irrational fears of being fired on the spot after being deemed a totally useless employee. I was out of the house in five minutes flat, pulling back my hair in the car and trying to appear less like I had just jumped out of bed. I called staffing and explained my situation. Thankfully they were very understanding and even apologetic for not calling since apparently my name hadn't been listed on the schedule. So I continued on, eyeing the clock as I drove. As I turned onto the highway, I pushed my foot down to accelerate....and pushed down some more....all the way to the floor. I mixed out at 40, then horrified watched my speed slowly begin to drop. "Please God, not now," I screamed internally. I pulled into the slow lane and began praying I would make it to the exit in time. By God' s grace I did, cruising down the highway at a lovely 20 mph, praising the Lord everyone else appeared to be sleeping in and the usually busy road was mostly empty. But to realize I was not only late, but was going to have to call out on my third day on the floor was somewhat traumatizing and the tears I had been holding back came. (remember to account for the no sleep factor here). I gathered myself back up, figured out towing and ended up having a pretty restful afternoon. Life happens I guess.
So anyway, all of this was to bring me up to my current point. My intense dislike for taking my car to the shop. Doctor's office? Sure. Dentist? No problem. Mechanic? NOOOOOO!!!! There is no where else in life where I feel so likely to be screwed. I am an assertive, confident, and educated individual, but put me in the realm of auto mechanics and I feel like I might as well walk in and say "Hi, feel free to try and rip me off, Im sure you can." And this ignorance frustrates me more than I can describe. I'm sure my pride is a part of it, but I like being an educated consumer and in this world I just don't have the knowledge, or diagnostic equipment to do that. I try to use the situation to recognize what it must be like for individuals when are uneducated to deal with many of the situations I approach with confidence and ease....but mostly I just hate it. The mechanic wants to charge me a 1000 bucks to fix my car. I wish my dads were here. The little to work or the big one to bargain. However, as that's not about to happen, I instead recruited a male friend to come with me to counteract my femaleness, and hopefully bringing a little more respect and some price reduction. When we went to the shop I fought my urge to be sweet and apologetic, really not even smiling (of you know me the not smiling is BIG) trying to act tough and confident. I think I did I decent job standing my ground, but I'm not sure how much good it did... at least the guy said he would talk to my original mechanic and see if they could work anything out (oh yeah, I actually found one I don't feel like is trying to screw me and they sent me elsewhere... awww man!). So now I'm waiting. And for the future, anyone living in the greater Philadelphia area want to be my handy friend?

Because pictures are FUN!

So I thought I'd give you a few Fall Break pics since I know some of your aren't that into reading...it makes it more like a picture book. It's me and the padres in PA and DC...pretty self-explanatory! Ok, I better do some real work. Ciao.

Possibilities

I often find myself in wonder when I look at individuals that have spent their entire lives within a 20 mile radius of where they were born. I know back in the day there weren't always a lot of options as far as travel was concerned and spending one's life in the same place was pretty much the only way to survive. And for many today, families, jobs, and a million other things make up and going hard. But to the young and unattached, in a world where plane tickets are cheap, access is easy, and possibilities seem endless I wonder how so many never go explore it. Even more shocking to my wanderlust soul is that they don't have the DESIRE to! I know my view is biased and everyone was not made with the same desires as me. I sometimes wonder why I'm so obsessed with the next adventure and I think it is partly due to the fact that I haven't found my place yet. I've been able to visit a number of great locations, but I want the one where I sink in and feel like it is where I'm meant to be. I think I adapt pretty well to my new locales, but I'm always looking forward...Where to next? And I wonder if I'll always be this way. Is it because we were made for a world beyond this one that is doesn't feel quite like my home? Or because I haven't found that person that makes it home? Or maybe just because I thrive on adventure and challenge, the new and exciting. Likely some combination of all three.
What I do know is that it makes me both love and be totally overwhelmed at the thought of becoming a nurse. One of my favorite ways to procrastinate as of late is to look at pediatric grad nurse programs across the country. And I'm realizing even more now than when I first began that I can work anywhere. That is mind boggling. How do I even begin? It it thrilling. I can begin anywhere. Anybody have any suggestions? (Mom, I know, UCDavis)

On a more concrete note, I'm back in school after Fall Break and life is good. I made it through classroom training and onto the floor at my new job and am fascinated by the traumatic brain injury patients I'm working with. Rehab is proving to be an entirely different world from acute care, with lots of independence promoting activities and the opportunity to see patient's condition improve rather than digress. My psych nursing skills are coming in handy and my biggest challenge so far seems to be in remaining serious when patients respond in very silly ways. At the same time, it pulls on my heart strings to see patients that have had their lives changed in an instant. Twenty-somethings that will never again have their eyes shine and smiles flash like they do in the photographs that adorn their walls. This past Friday, I was feeling the weight of loss, anger at the injustice after reading the chart of a young college student who had gone into cardiac arrest while playing a pick up game with friends. Seeing such young potential snatched, I found myself asking, "How does it happen God?" I didn't get my answer, but I did get my reminder that God was there. Fifteen or so students, friends of the patient came through the door. They had taken their fall break to fly across the country to visit their friend. They gathered around the bed with love, laughter, and compassion. Then they took turns visiting personally while the rest went into the therapy room, one with a guitar in hand, to sing songs of praise to our God. And He was near. In another room I found a family praying. And He was near. And we bathed a patient that night with Jesus tatooed on his arm. And He was near. And the sadness subsided, when I remembered yet again that there is a world beyond this one in which we live.

Orientations

Today was my first day of my new job. Well, really let's rephrase that. Today was my first day of orientation for my new job. Day-long classroom-based hospital orientations are pretty much torture for girls who can't sit still. Eight hours of lecture classes are rough, but at least there is some valuable information in there, or at the minimum stuff you know you'll be tested on later. But hospital orientations, like many job orientations I'm sure, only give you tests with the kinds of questions you could answer without any real knowledge. You know, questions like:
If you are getting ready to cross the street at a crosswalk and see a car speeding toward you, you should:
a) continue crossing since you are a pedestrian and have the right of way
b) stop and wait for the car to pass
c) send the largest person out first so the car will stop to avoid body damage
d) both a&c

And if by some chance the question is actually going to require some thought, don't worry because it most assuredly will be discussed and worked through as a group. So what do I do? I squirm and change positions about a million times, I try and find things to take notes about just so there's something to do, I doodle, and I daydream my way on out.... but today I was in orientation with just myself and ONE other person! Daydreaming and doodling are out the window. Sigh.
I'm trying to keep with my usual positive outlook and remember that there are only 2 more days of this (ok, so that's a lie, there are 4, but only 2 more this week) then I get to do a great job. The place I'm working at is a rehab hospital and the facilities are amazing. On top of all the typical hospital stuff they have huge training gyms, a greenhouse where patients can go plant flowers and do projects, aquatics, hair dressers, and all kinds of environments and devices to help people regain and/or relearn skills. The staff are friendly, the environment soothing and while I might not learn tons in orientation, I certainly will on the floor. Yeah, it's gonna be good :)

Friendliness :)

I wonder a lot lately about the loneliness of our world. In some ways we have the ability to be closer to the people in our lives than ever before, but I think in a lot of ways we are more disconnected than ever from the people around us. I notice this a lot on campus. Students are no longer capable of walking around by themselves, even just from class to class without pulling out their cell phones. It's like we're almost afraid to just walk by ourselves. And I think it's really becoming detrimental because no one strikes up conversations with strangers anymore. With college kids I think this is huge because rather than get connected to the people physically in their lives, they continue to invest all their time in their old friends and family, making their current surroundings a pretty lonely place. I know not everyone is super outgoing like me, but I think a lot of the time we avert our eyes and pretend we don't see people because we're afraid how people will react if we reach into their world with a greeting. That or we're just too into our own lives to take the step to make a connection with someone else. Admittedly, the East Coast can be a much tougher place to be friendly than the West was. It's just not "normal" to smile and wave at people you pass by. But tonight I decided I wanted to reach beyond it and see what would happen if I really made the effort to greet the people I passed. Now me saying hi to passersby really isn't something new, but this time I made it a challenge. I was going for a walk with my parents (who are out visiting for my fall break) at Valley Forge and I decided to keep track of how many people I could get to say hi to me. In the 5 mile loop we made around the park I managed to get 33 people to say hi and a few more to smile. That's about 95% of the people that responded verbally and of those who couldn't muster up the words I think all but 1 smiled. How great is that?! And after the first couple, my greetings got more confident, my smile easier, and it was just....nice. People want to be reached, to be recognized. And we hold back because we think someone might think we're crazy, that they might be caught up in their own thoughts, that they might take it the wrong way. And really, someone probably will think that. But really most of them will be glad. Through simple gestures we can touch people in a way they may be dying for. When we were finishing our walk it was getting dark and almost no one was left on the trail. But we were running up alongside a road and a girl stuck her head out the window and yelled hello to ME (or more accurately to US) into the wind. And it was my turn to smile. :)