Happy New Year!

After a very relaxing trip home to California I am back home in Pennsylvania. It sometimes confuses me as to which I'm supposed to call home, but I've decided since they both are I'll just roll with it. It's kind of like my two dads. They are about as different as night and day and have played different roles in my life but they're both my dads and I love them both dearly if not for the same reasons. Ok, before I go too far off on this tangent, let's redirect. So I'm back home and as the holiday feeling winds down, I'm starting to look forward at 2007. I turn 24 in a couple weeks. I look at that and for some reason think I should start having my life figured out. For the record, I don't. And for this small moment, I'm ok with it. And I wonder if maybe it is, in fact, a clear picture of what my reality will be like. My plans have changed so drastically from those intended, that maybe it's not so much that things are less clear now, but that I'm realizing my most clearly laid plans are just as subject to God's tweaking as any. I CAN'T figure it all out. I can only seek His will, and repent of my many failings along the way.
While I'm not one to really go gung ho on new year's resolutions, I do appreciate the opportunity to reflect on where I've been and where I'm heading. I like fresh starts that come with tangible symbols of new beginnings- crisp notebooks, empty planners, cleaned out files and organized closets. A new chance at doing life better. I will study harder, sleep more, put more into my relationships, offer more justice, grace, mercy, love, hope....or at least that's what I hope and pray. I am filled with good intentions, a few of which I may actually achieve and many of which probably won't. But like all growth it must happen in steps. I went out to dinner last night with a group of friends and at one point we all shared were we where at this time last year. Somewhere completely different from where I am now that's for sure. Some of my desires, dreams, and struggles are the same, but many have changed. I have so much room for growth, but I guess that is life. If we are not seeking, struggling, growing, wondering aren't we just stagnating? I will never reach a state where I don't need Christ. I'm always going to kind of suck at this life thing. But the good news is, I'm never going a place where's he's not. Phew, huh?

Happy New Year Everyone! I wish you all the best in your endeavours!