A content heart and wild spirit

So today was my first day back at class after a 10 day break. I ended up deciding at the last minute to go home to CA for a few days when I found a ticket to Reno for just over 200 bucks. Rather than try and fit in dinners and visits with everyone (which is somewhat customary for me, but usually leaves me needing a vacation when I come back home), I spent most of the time relaxing and hanging out with my family. One of my old pastors used to say, "every family has weirdness," and my family is no exception, but they are beautiful and wonderful and I love them. It's always strange for me when I go home though because I think of my brothers and sisters I'm the one who's both closest to it and farthest from it. I talk to my parents more than my brothers and sister and have been back to visit more than any of the others. I love El Dorado County. A lot of the friends I grew up with couldn't wait to get out ne'er to return, but I think it's a great place. Now I definitely wasn't the only one who thought EDC was nice, there was totally a group that wanted to live there for the rest of their lives. I guess what gets me is the fact that I feel such a strong connection to that place and at the same time realize I'll probably never return except to visit my parents, and possibly Wally if he decides to move there so he can get free childcare ("why would I pay for day-care Kallie when I could have Mom watch them for free?") . It would be so easy to move back there, go work at Marshall, and raise a family in the area, but I know that will never happen and it gets me thinking about my life. I've never thought of myself as an adrenaline junkie or a masochist, but I think I like my life slightly difficult. And at times this drives me crazy. I look at the simple country life and it looks so easy, relaxing, calm, predictable....and I know I could probably only be happy with it if I was planning some big adventure elsewhere. So I begin to question my level of contentment with my life. The fact is, I really am I content, happy person. I'm not one who constantly seeks something else because I feel like what I have is not enough. I don't want stuff or money, I don't want power, I don't care about prestige. I'm not looking to climb any ladder or prove anything. But I need something to DO, to SEE, to EXPERIENCE something more. What does that mean? In my mind I think that the mixture of contentment and desire for something more is evidence of the fact that God can fill me, but this world is not my home. It also means that I'm bound to make my life a lot harder than it has to be and will constantly be putting myself in situations where I'm totally uncomfortable. Ah, the things I have to look forward to!